Trusting People

Trusting People

Every relationship in the world is based on trust. It does not have to be a personal relationship. All the professional relationships are based on trust too. Without trust you can never be pleased about any kind of bond or connection you build in your life.

We get our first lessons about trust from our homes. Our parents and siblings teach us how important trust is. If you have ever had a younger sibling you would how much this younger brother or sister looks up to you as you grow up. While growing up like that if you sometimes forget to paint a picture they wanted to have or teach them to ride a bicycle as you promised they will be hurt because your broke their trust. If you are lucky enough the only hurtful situations of broken trust in the personal life will be limited to such matters and not something as horrific as losing your home or your hard earned money to a untrustworthy parent or sibling.

Most of the time there is nothing we can do about the family we are born to. However, we can always take the right measure to deal with every family member depending on their character. While taking actions to protect yourself from any negative results of being related to an untrustworthy sibling or parent, you have to also make sure to never fall for a person who is not trustworthy. What is the point of loving someone who is not even honest with you about where they are going when they leave the house? If you do start a family with such a person your whole life will be a mess and a pain.

It is also quite essential to take timely measures to ensure that you are forging connections with the right people in the professional world too. As a freelancer I often work with different people. There have been times where people have tried to be dishonest especially when it comes to payments. However, now that I have learnt my lesson from one mistake I do not work with people whom I do not trust when I talk with them. Not just for freelancers for everyone at a professional level trust is essential. Even if you work for a company you need to be able to trust the company to treat you well while the company needs to be able to trust you to provide them with your best performances.

Trust is a two way street. When someone trusts you, you have to offer them your trust too. For example, as a freelancer I offer my best services to my clients while they offer me the right working conditions and timely payments. Trust is also something that has to be earned. When you are dealing with people it is never wrong to take your time when trusting people. If you trust everyone the moment you meet them you could be heading for a life full of troubles. Take care of yourself and the people you love by trusting only the right people.

Advertisements

Laughter: The Best Coping Mechanism

Laughter: The Best Coping Mechanism

All of us have to go through stressful and sometimes quite emotional situations in life. That is how an ordinary life is. Most of the time we get bothered by these situations and spend so much time focusing our attention on that.

Sometimes, the reasons behind some of these moments can be quite silly such as losing one of the favourite bookmarks. Sure, it has a certain emotional attachment to us, but now that it is gone we have to focus on other matters without wasting so much time on worrying about that.

Sometimes, the reasons behind some of these moments are actually quite serious. You can be really angry because of one of the stupid decisions taken by one of your political leaders. Even though you are a normal citizen of the country you understand that decision can affect all of the current generations and the future generations of the country negatively. And yet this political leader is going on making such stupid decisions one after the other. That makes you angry. However, being angry and boiling your blood over the matter will not in any way make the situation better. You have to find a way to act without anger. It is common acceptance that anger can cloud our judgement. What can you do?

You should find a way to let go of that anger. Laughter is one of the best ways to do that. Whether you are angry about some kind of political issue of the country or because of some kind of  personal situation always find a way to at least find humour in the situation or another source which can make you laugh.

Asking to find laughter in any way does not mean you should start disregarding these matters as worthless matters. No, you should not do that. But you have to find a way to let go of all the negative emotions and keep your mind clear of any emotions which can cloud your judgement. Also, even if you are taking a decision to find peace you need to let go of all the negative feelings. That is the only way to find peace.

As for me personally, laughter has helped me to cope a lot of difficult situations more bearable. You do not have to laugh at someone ridiculing them to find your peace. But you can turn the moment humourous just like John Oliver or Trevor Noah does without forgetting about the serious issues you have to focus on. After all, without being able to cope the troubles you are going through you cannot hope to lead a good life. Therefore, laugh and find your inner peace.

Movies and You

Movies and You

After finding some time to watch some interesting movies which I actually loved, I thought to talk about movies. Movies are one of those entertainment modes which is there with you when you grow up. As for me, I grew up with Hindi movies. One of my earliest memories of movies is seeing Sridevi dancing to “Me thera dushman” in Naagini movie. Though I do not watch as many Hindi movies now, I still love listening to Hindi movie songs. For me they are the best songs with beautiful music, lyrics and amazingly good choreography.

The first ever English movie I watched at a movie theater was Jurassic Park (1993). I was three years old and so terrified that I kept my face turned away from the screen until the whole movie finished. Yes, I did not watch it. However, as I had the luck of getting an opportunity to explore more English movies as I grew up by now T-Rex has become my favourite dinosaur and I absolutely love those movies.

Movies have this way of letting us explore other people’s imagination in colourful images. A good movie can satisfy you in a special way. It can have a massive impact on the way you see the world. That is why every decision we take about the movies we watch have to be carefully made too.

As for me, when it comes to movies I follow one simple rule. I only watch the movies I want to watch. People can advertise all they want and friends can tell me all they want that I should watch this movie and that, but I will only watch it if I want to. This mainly happened because some movies recommended by other people ended up being horribly dissatisfying to me and also because now I only have a limited time to watch anything so I would like to invest it in watching something I want to watch. However, taking the recommendation of someone who has a similar taste to you is always fine.

Every one of us expect different things from movies and also experience them in different ways. Sure, there are always times when a movie you are expecting to watch ends up being really bad. However, after a while, when you have watched enough movies you develop a certain instinct which lets you know what kind of a movie to expect by watching the trailer.That is as long as it is clear to you trailers should be taken with a grain of salt.

Therefore, as a movie fan, make your own decisions. Read a review or two from sources you trust if you are unclear about a movie before going into see it. Also, when someone asks you if a certain movie was good or not, tell them what you think making it clear it is your idea.Their reaction to the movie can be completely different from yours.

Ego: The Destructive Enemy

Ego: The Destructive Enemy

Anyone has the right to be proud about what they have achieved, how good they are at what they do, how special they think they are. However, that does not mean just because someone is extremely intelligent that person gets to look down on all the others as stupid and useless people. When you reach that level of pride where your self-importance makes you blind to the achievements and skills of other people, it means you have an ego.

An ego is not good for your professional life or your personal life. You can be as good as a lush green plant growing with beautiful leaves and flowers. However, for someone who looks from outside another plant could be better looking and more useful than you are. Therefore, you also need to understand your worth can be subjective too as for someone else another person with a different skill set or a different look may be more beautiful and useful than you are.

You can be a doctor who has become one after passing all the hard exams and doing a lot of hard work for years. You are healing others. That is true. That is not something just anyone can do. However, that does not give you the right to demean others by saying things such as the only degree worth studying is medicine and all the other degrees are incomparable to it because it is so important than all the other degrees. I have seen people expressing such views. To me personally and to anyone, who does look at everyone in the world appreciating how they are taking an effort to contribute to this world in any way they can, this is an insult. Only someone’s ego will make them not see that a world needs every kind of profession, every type of people and every type of skills to function.

If you are really hoping to help someone you will criticize their work or some choices to show them the right way. However, if you are only driven by ego you will criticize people only to demean them as the only thing you can feel is how superior you are to them.

Therefore, what you have to remember in life is quite simple. Be proud about yourself, however, not so much that you start seeing the world with eyes clouded with too much ego, too much self-importance.

Bohemian – The Free Spirited

Bohemian – The Free Spirited

One day in last December I got up in the morning feeling more anxious than usual because I was supposed to meet a surgeon on that day to discuss about a surgery that needed to be done. It was not a major surgery, but still it required me to go to an operation theatre and face the procedure.It would also mean for a month or so I would not be able to walk properly. So, yes, I was anxious and not very happy.

Then, I connected to the internet to check my emails as usual. And with a ‘ting’ sound comes a Facebook message. It is from a friend of mine and it says “This photo reminded me of you.” The following photo is there.

received_906216756181369

And I felt thrilled. For the first time since I got up I actually smiled genuinely. I thanked him back then and there. To know when someone sees me and sees this aesthetic and lighthearted side of me is a compliment of the highest level for me. It is small precious moments like these that help us get through the hard times when we feel overworked or even burdened with difficult situations.

I have never been a traveler in the literal sense. I do not believe I will ever be since I find comfort and happiness by staying where I am and where I am used to. However, I am a traveler when thinking from a symbolical sense. I do try to travel the world of ideas and writing the best I can to see what I can contribute to them, to see what I can learn from them all the time. I will continue to do so because my thirst for that travel, that adventure will never be quenched.

Being a bohemian always comes naturally to you. However, since most of us are raised with a set of rules and socially accepted norms from the childhood we do not realize we have such a free spirited side to ourselves until we face some kind of a situation that helps to get us the right exposure to the society we live in and also a chance to know who we are for real. Only then, at the right time, we decide what exactly we want to be. It is up to you how you want to proceed from there because you can still be a bohemian without being like the rest of the bohemians too.

Making Progress and Measuring Progress

Making Progress and Measuring Progress

Yesterday when I was watching Koffee With Karan at home I heard quite and interesting idea from Sidharth Malhotra. He said even if he stop working now due to some reason he will still be happy, still be grateful for where he is today because he came to the industry from nothing and compared to that today he has gained so many things. In a way it surprised me because not so long ago I was thinking along that same line of thought when I was thinking about progress with regard to my life and my career.

When about an year ago I definitely came to the decision of becoming a freelancer that was not something every one else was about to accept. That is because here in Sri Lanka apart from a few people who actually are involved in that trade freelancing is not something that is considered as a real job, it is relatively an unseen  and unheard of profession. A real job is where to go to an office everyday, get a salary and holidays and get promotions and such. Working from home and that too unattached to any company is a relatively unknown field and a relatively unacceptable working method for most. Fortunately, my family has understood though my career choice is unusual it is actually a career since they do know about the field and I was able to properly explain everything to them too.

Since I have ever since found clients and are happy about the path I am taking at the moment I actually am pretty content in what I do. I have also grown a rather thicker skin when people do not understand what I actually do as a profession and give those weird glances and ask unnecessary questions.

Then, comes the question how to do I measure my progress because I do want to be able to keep in track of that in this very different line of work. I am capable of doing that in normal ways such as how much of a monthly income I get and also in different methods that are not used by employees who are working for a company in a normal job. Though I am not earning millions I am earning something sufficient to take care of my needs and contribute to my family too. I come into contact with great clients. In a way, even if I come into contact with horrible people I get to learn more about people that way.

Being a freelance writer and translator does not mean now that I found the ideal career for me all is taken care of. I still have my personal goals to reach. However, I am grateful today to the place I am. An year or so ago I was without a job and was frustrated when even passing exams was not giving me the opportunity to work. Today I have made progress as someone who made an unusual career choice in my country. Someday I hope to be the one who made a valuable and positive change in her life through this bold decision.

What You Do Not Wish For

What You Do Not Wish For

As soon as we discover that we can make certain wishes we start making them to get what we want. In childhood, it could be getting a princess tiara that we always wished to have or a cool fire truck. These wishes are actually quite simple and most of the time fulfilled because our parents are in charge of making them come true.

As we grow up, we learn that wishes do not come true just because we want them to come true. We have to work for them. If we want to become a doctor, a ballerina or a writer we have to work for it. We have to practice that art and learn what needs to be learned if that wish is to come true.

Then, at a certain age of maturity, we start to realize how some things  that came to pass without us actually wishing for them have changed our lives. Sometimes, we understand how actually what we wished for did not happen while something we have never actually wished for completely changed our lives. You could be someone who was wishing to marry and settle down at a certain age. You could also have had a relationship at the time. However, somehow that relationship could have ended and with its end could have opened a door for a great career for you. It could have taken you some years until you finally realized this was actually the happiness you were wishing to get from life. Therefore, it is sometimes what you do not wish for which has more value and impact on your life than what you actually wished for.

Therefore, we should understand in life having certain wishes and fulfilling them is fine. However, those wishes should always be something good, something that you have made with a calm mind without letting your emotions have control over your mind. Sometimes, what you do not wish for matters more than what you wish for because it has a greater impact on your life than what you have actually wished for.